


"On My Way to You"

by Gabna43



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Post-Episode 5.13 "I am Legends"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabna43/pseuds/Gabna43
Summary: Ava regains awareness after the events of Episode 5.12/13 "I am Legends" and has only one thing on her mind.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 18
Kudos: 104





	"On My Way to You"

She walked toward the dunes, instinctively knowing where to go. She could hear the waves' crash mingled with faint seagull cries. The pink orange of the sunset lit the tips of the sea oats, turning the rolling mounds to fiery gold.

The sand was warm and gentle beneath her bare feet, welcoming her and beckoning her toward her destination.

The stillness of the moment was beautiful as, somehow, she’d discovered the perfect time of day when no one else was on the beach. No pounding bass or revving engines or yelling body surfers or dogs barking. Not even children giggling. Just the lulling sound of undulating waves slapping against the shore.

As she topped the ridge, she saw a figure, sitting on a bright towel facing the water with her back toward her. Her smile grew.

She’d known that she would find her here.

Without noise or fanfare, she hurried across the deserted strand and settled beside her wordlessly, crossing her legs in echo of the woman next to her.

They watched the sun hover at the edge of the world, painting purple, pink, and red dancing on the blue green water spinning in.

The woman sighed.

“This wasn’t the plan.”

She turned to look at her, fully for the first time since she’d arrived here abruptly minutes earlier.

The blonde strands floating, escaped from her loose ponytail. The curve of her cheek. The straight nose. The pouty lips. The dimpled chin. Ice blue eyes met hers, and she refused to turn away, to yield any ground.

“I improvised.” She clinched her jaw and pressed her lips tightly. Her eyes filled. But she would not apologize or move her gaze away from her lover.

“Like freeform jazz?” And then she saw it. The twinkle in those eyes. The growing smirk.

She reached and grasped Sara’s hand tightly, almost desperately, but she stared back at the water, emotions overwhelming her. “Like freeform jazz.”

Sara entwined their fingers and leaned her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder.

After several minutes of contented silence, the captain tugged lightly against her hand to get her attention. Sara kept her head resting against her.

“I’m sorry, love.” Ava closed her eyes and dropped her head at the words.

“Sara—”

“—No, Ava. I’m sorry.” Her eyes blinked open then. Sara moved back to see her, to tenderly cup her face and run her thumb across her cheekbone.

She pulled away slightly. Ava didn’t want this comfort yet. What she had left behind was something she was not yet ready to address emotionally. She was here now, and she wanted to stay here and not think about it.

“Okay.” Sara nodded in understanding and began to pull away, but Ava held tight to the hand entwined with her own.

The stars flickered on, dotting the dusk sky as the sun departed the day. Waves peacefully soothed them away from the bleakness in both of their minds. They sat together - silent, still, content in the moment. But the darkness continued to nag at Ava.

“I am the one who should be sorry.” Sara glanced at her, surprised. “I know you trusted me to fix it. I know you believed in me.” Tears welled in Ava’s eyes. “I couldn’t leave you there, Sara. I could not let you die alone, even if you were trying to protect me and the team.”

Sara placed her hands on either side of Ava’s face softly and just smiled. “I love you.”

Ava shook her head and looked down, away from her lover. “I know this wasn’t the plan—”

“Ava, I love you. I get it. The best solutions happen when there is no plan, remember?” She smiled, bent forward, and brushed her lips across Ava’s before laying down and tugging Ava down with her onto the beach towel. She wrapped her arms around Ava who snuggled into her shoulder.

“Charlie got through the portal, though.”

The proud smile on Sara’s face grew. “See? I knew you’d figure something out. And the rest of the team?”

Ava winced.

“Oh.”

“No, babe. It’s okay. They are here somewhere, too. I think we’ll probably find them setting up a raging kegger down the beach a little further.” They both chuckled knowing that even in death, nothing much changed with their time children.

Ava had spent the last moments of her life trying frantically to make her emotions make sense. Anger, desperation, sorrow, fear all clashed concordantly, leaving her overwhelmed and unable to do anything more than go through the motions of defending the still-charging time courier. There was so much she wanted and needed to say but she didn’t have the time, ironically.

Her lover had made sure of that…that Ava wouldn’t have the time to truly deal with her coming death or to get distracted trying to stop it. She’d once accused Sara of being unable to set aside her baggage for the good of the mission, yet Sara knew that Ava would not be able to handle the emotional barrage that her partner’s looming death would cause her. For better or worse, Sara’s decision to lie/omit the truth was the correct call because Ava’s mind simply shut down. She hadn’t even told Sara that she loved her.

Watching Sara be ripped apart and being unable to stop it had broken something inside of her that in that moment she was sure could never heal. In the midst of desperately fighting along with the other Legends to clear a path for Charlie, Ava had silently acknowledged that she just didn’t want to live without Sara. She probably could have. Eventually. She might have figured out a way to stuff her shattered heart away in order to save humanity from whatever the Fates had in store.

But Ava didn’t _want_ to. She wanted Sara. She wanted life with Sara, beside Sara. Together. Co-captains for life.

As she laid here curled against the love of her life, tracing shapes in the stars, snuggling, and laughing quietly, Ava knew that her decision to remain behind in the pub had been the right one.

“Ava.” Sara’s gentle voice pulled her from her thoughts. The eyes she’d fallen into so many times over the last two years gazed at her tenderly. A part of her was pathetically grateful to be able to see into them again. “I would’ve waited here for you no matter how long it took for you to get here or for me to be able to get back to you. I meant what I said. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’m happiest when I am with you. Always.”

“I know.” She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of her partner’s words chase away some of the last cold ebbs of darkness in her mind. “One day, though, we are going to have to talk about our very different definitions of being honest with each other.”

She felt Sara’s hand wrap around the hand that, as per their habit, rested lightly on Sara’s chest. “One day. But not today.” The captain affectionately squeezed her fingers.

Ava was finally able to breathe. Here in her lover’s arms. Both dead. Neither finding the need to care much at the moment.

“I love you, Sara.”

She felt the woman shift beneath her slightly, rising up a little to see Ava's face. “Still co-captains for life?”

There was a barely-there tremor in Sara’s voice, as if the emotional impact of everything was crashing down on her now that they were on the flip side, and Ava could be her grounding point.

“For always.”

**Author's Note:**

> To say that I was gutted by the amazing, breathtaking acting of both Jes Macallan and Caity Lotz in this episode is an understatement. Rewatching the episode this morning, so many moments hit differently, hit harder knowing that throughout the episode Sara is carrying the knowledge that she is going to die. She tells Ava she loves her over and over again in a myriad of ways without ever actually saying the words. 
> 
> Ava's complete inability to process the information that her lover is dying shortly (likely painfully& violently) and that there's nothing she can do to stop it because Sara has put the mission above herself, above even their relationship, for the greater good is beyond powerful in that moment. Her growing fear as she and Charlie fight to protect the courier and she has to helplessly watch Sara fight mostly alone across the room is so moving.
> 
> The acting in their separate conversation in the pub is superb because every sad smile, every shuttered breath, every tear, every look matters, even when those actions and reactions are subtle. Honestly, the softness and quietness of the emotions from both of them there is what broke me. Caity had to communicate all of that without using her eyes. Damn.
> 
> The story and writing were very good, but you can't tell that story and make your viewers care, cry, and stay up all night mourning on Twitter and Tumblr without the women who make us feel those words, those characters to our core.
> 
> I woke up after about two hours of sleep and had this image in my head - Ava and Sara sitting on the beach completely alone and watching the sunset. I couldn't go back to sleep until I wrote this. They deserve to be happy while they wait for Charlie.


End file.
